I had a training weekend in Dallas last weekend, none of which was clearly established to be inside or outside the $40 Week Project. Not a good plan. It was really easy to be slippery and use the cash Pete gave me -- or not! -- without much consciousness. I've also had a couple of lapses with texting him around expenditures, and if I tell the truth about it, I knew damn well that I was lapsing. My justifications were loud and I went with them, which totally defeats the intention of the game. SO. Back to square one.
And with all of that in mind, had a lovely Starbucks run this morning with my friend Wynne, and then popped in to Target and found some HOT shoes for $32. All is well.
Pete will be out of town next week, and in the past I've used his absence as a context for going a little wild. Eating out, shopping, extras. I'm committed to honoring what I've created and therein honoring what we are creating together. Game (back) on!
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Well into week 2
It's already Thursday in the second week of the game. Today I'm off to the movies with the Baseball Moms, with $30 in my pocket.
Despite some creative thinking and the best intentions, in week One 1 I did go over by about ten bucks. I got sloppy about the bookkeeping too, so I'm not actually 100% sure that it was ten bucks... it may have been more like 14. In either case, I started this week with just $30. It is enormously satisfying to be all the way through mid-week without having spent anything, but it's also tempting to shoot my whole wad in one afternoon. We're having lunch at Panera before going to the movies so I will forego popcorn.
I intentionally set up the game to not include dates with Pete. My old-fashioned girl brain likes having those expenses come out of his pocket (and I mean that in the most literal sense). What it's forcing is DATE NIGHT! This is Awards Season and there are lots of movies yet to see, including a couple that might appeal to men! So Pete and I have a date scheduled for Saturday. There will be popcorn!
Despite some creative thinking and the best intentions, in week One 1 I did go over by about ten bucks. I got sloppy about the bookkeeping too, so I'm not actually 100% sure that it was ten bucks... it may have been more like 14. In either case, I started this week with just $30. It is enormously satisfying to be all the way through mid-week without having spent anything, but it's also tempting to shoot my whole wad in one afternoon. We're having lunch at Panera before going to the movies so I will forego popcorn.
I intentionally set up the game to not include dates with Pete. My old-fashioned girl brain likes having those expenses come out of his pocket (and I mean that in the most literal sense). What it's forcing is DATE NIGHT! This is Awards Season and there are lots of movies yet to see, including a couple that might appeal to men! So Pete and I have a date scheduled for Saturday. There will be popcorn!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Context Is Decisive
As I said I would, I went to the gym and I exercised. Taa daa! My promise is to work out two more times before noon on Friday.
It's no surprise, and yet surprising indeed, that other areas of life are showing up inside the context of the $40 Week Project. Health is a big one. I lost 38 pounds in 2010 and over the holidays (um... starting with Halloween) I went ahead and enjoyed myself and gained back about 15. It's NOT okay! Most of my clothes are snug, I don't like how my body looks (by comparison to how it looked 15 pounds ago), and I feel like a moron for letting myself go wild. I knew what I was doing. So I'm back to eating a very restricted, though enjoyable, diet, and I'm excited about working out again. I have created weight-loss goals and am empowered in my plan to meet them. This is not like me. Usually I just kinda go with things, even when my word is at stake, like in my automatic relationship to money.
A couple of cool money miracles in the past 48 hours:
4 bucks showed up in the laundry. I'm pretty sure they were from the pocket of my jacket, so I have no reservations about claiming them for myself. But I think they showed up inside the clearing of this game. The initial formulating of the game came on a car ride to my best friend Mary's house last Thursday. I had a long way to go and a gas gift-card that Pete had instructed me to use. I was annoyed with Pete for the way his voice sounded when he'd dropped the card in my purse -- it occurred to me as very paternal (and not in a sweet way). I am clear that I over-reacted and made something out of nothing, but it did get my wheels spinning... The whole money domination thing was huge that day. Gotta do what Pete says or else hide things from him. Yuck. A predictable, past-based, no-power-paradigm. Way to be married! Woo! As I let that get to me, I flirted with the thought of a weekly allowance -- some chunk of money that I could call mine, to spend on the lovely, girly, indulgent things that my beloved husband sometimes poo-poos. Yeah, that'll show him!
Fortunately I stepped into the light before too long, and the Project actually started to sound like fun. I love my husband and I love loving him. When I'm annoyed by him I naturally think that it's HIM. And I do mean NATURALLY. It takes a committed act of real thinking to get responsible for my own annoyance, and an act of real courage to look at how I might be annoying HIM. My reluctance to confront anything related to money is extremely annoying to Pete. He works hard to make money, he works with other peoples' money to make more money for them, his entire career has been in the financial industry. The man is, in a lot of ways, about money. And me... I just want nice stuff without having to work hard.
So as I was driving, looking for the right kind of gas station, thinking about money and Pete and love and limits, I knew -- didn't even have to wonder -- I knew that if I took the initiative to get conscious about money, my husband would really appreciate it. See yesterday's post regarding how that worked out. ;-)
So, when I found the right kind of gas station, I pumped the gas and then splashed some on my jacket. When I got home, I put the jacket into the washing machine immediately, completely oblivious to the cash in the pocket. Oblivious to money! Duh! Having stirred up some consciousness these past couple of days, those four $1 bills that made their way through the washer and dryer are cause for celebration! THEY'RE A FRICKIN' LATTE'!
Second miracle: Found out that my airfare for an upcoming training weekend is PAID. Like, by NOT PETE. That, my friends, is probably a week's worth of Happy Husband.
It's no surprise, and yet surprising indeed, that other areas of life are showing up inside the context of the $40 Week Project. Health is a big one. I lost 38 pounds in 2010 and over the holidays (um... starting with Halloween) I went ahead and enjoyed myself and gained back about 15. It's NOT okay! Most of my clothes are snug, I don't like how my body looks (by comparison to how it looked 15 pounds ago), and I feel like a moron for letting myself go wild. I knew what I was doing. So I'm back to eating a very restricted, though enjoyable, diet, and I'm excited about working out again. I have created weight-loss goals and am empowered in my plan to meet them. This is not like me. Usually I just kinda go with things, even when my word is at stake, like in my automatic relationship to money.
A couple of cool money miracles in the past 48 hours:
4 bucks showed up in the laundry. I'm pretty sure they were from the pocket of my jacket, so I have no reservations about claiming them for myself. But I think they showed up inside the clearing of this game. The initial formulating of the game came on a car ride to my best friend Mary's house last Thursday. I had a long way to go and a gas gift-card that Pete had instructed me to use. I was annoyed with Pete for the way his voice sounded when he'd dropped the card in my purse -- it occurred to me as very paternal (and not in a sweet way). I am clear that I over-reacted and made something out of nothing, but it did get my wheels spinning... The whole money domination thing was huge that day. Gotta do what Pete says or else hide things from him. Yuck. A predictable, past-based, no-power-paradigm. Way to be married! Woo! As I let that get to me, I flirted with the thought of a weekly allowance -- some chunk of money that I could call mine, to spend on the lovely, girly, indulgent things that my beloved husband sometimes poo-poos. Yeah, that'll show him!
Fortunately I stepped into the light before too long, and the Project actually started to sound like fun. I love my husband and I love loving him. When I'm annoyed by him I naturally think that it's HIM. And I do mean NATURALLY. It takes a committed act of real thinking to get responsible for my own annoyance, and an act of real courage to look at how I might be annoying HIM. My reluctance to confront anything related to money is extremely annoying to Pete. He works hard to make money, he works with other peoples' money to make more money for them, his entire career has been in the financial industry. The man is, in a lot of ways, about money. And me... I just want nice stuff without having to work hard.
So as I was driving, looking for the right kind of gas station, thinking about money and Pete and love and limits, I knew -- didn't even have to wonder -- I knew that if I took the initiative to get conscious about money, my husband would really appreciate it. See yesterday's post regarding how that worked out. ;-)
So, when I found the right kind of gas station, I pumped the gas and then splashed some on my jacket. When I got home, I put the jacket into the washing machine immediately, completely oblivious to the cash in the pocket. Oblivious to money! Duh! Having stirred up some consciousness these past couple of days, those four $1 bills that made their way through the washer and dryer are cause for celebration! THEY'RE A FRICKIN' LATTE'!
Second miracle: Found out that my airfare for an upcoming training weekend is PAID. Like, by NOT PETE. That, my friends, is probably a week's worth of Happy Husband.
Monday, January 03, 2011
First Monday
Today is the first Monday in the $40 Week Project. It's also the first Monday of the new year and in fact, the new decade. Most delightfully, it's also the first Monday that the kids are back in school after Winter Break. I love those guys, but I really do enjoy having the place to myself again.
I'd planned to get my $40 last night when I went to the grocery store, but I screwed up, hit the wrong button on the keypad, and missed out on the cash-back-with-purchase option. This pissed me off, as I was intending to use cash to buy a birthday card for my best friend Nina. Honoring my word, I chose to forego that purchase (sorry Nina, but please read on), and I got my cash this morning instead (along with a birthday card for my best friend Nina, though it will probably not get to her till the day after her birthday... and none of this is an indicator in the matter of my love for her, AT ALL).
This being the first Monday of the new year, going to the gym seemed a good idea. But first I'd need a membership! Pete called just as I was heading over and suggested that I transfer our son's membership to my name. Did that, free of charge, and with no change to our monthly expense. I didn't work out. Tomorrow.
This being the first Monday of the month, I dropped off some dry cleaning. I've already alerted Pete to the $47 check I'll be writing on Wednesday.
Then I was off to Target for some groceries, toiletries and dog care items. Got my cash, bought Nina's card, and promptly sent a text to Pete. I had not yet told him about the $40 Week Project. Nonetheless, I got a text back from him, thanking me for keeping costs down and acknowledging some expenses I will have later in the week (parking and meals while attending a course downtown).
Au contraire, I assured him! I have already accounted for that stuff! I'm playing a game... and then I sent him a link to this blog. Came his reply: "Very cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (I cut and pasted that directly from his email, so as to not miss a single !.)
So the question I'm dwelling in now is, how will I know when I've won the game? And when I have, then what?
I'd planned to get my $40 last night when I went to the grocery store, but I screwed up, hit the wrong button on the keypad, and missed out on the cash-back-with-purchase option. This pissed me off, as I was intending to use cash to buy a birthday card for my best friend Nina. Honoring my word, I chose to forego that purchase (sorry Nina, but please read on), and I got my cash this morning instead (along with a birthday card for my best friend Nina, though it will probably not get to her till the day after her birthday... and none of this is an indicator in the matter of my love for her, AT ALL).
This being the first Monday of the new year, going to the gym seemed a good idea. But first I'd need a membership! Pete called just as I was heading over and suggested that I transfer our son's membership to my name. Did that, free of charge, and with no change to our monthly expense. I didn't work out. Tomorrow.
This being the first Monday of the month, I dropped off some dry cleaning. I've already alerted Pete to the $47 check I'll be writing on Wednesday.
Then I was off to Target for some groceries, toiletries and dog care items. Got my cash, bought Nina's card, and promptly sent a text to Pete. I had not yet told him about the $40 Week Project. Nonetheless, I got a text back from him, thanking me for keeping costs down and acknowledging some expenses I will have later in the week (parking and meals while attending a course downtown).
Au contraire, I assured him! I have already accounted for that stuff! I'm playing a game... and then I sent him a link to this blog. Came his reply: "Very cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" (I cut and pasted that directly from his email, so as to not miss a single !.)
So the question I'm dwelling in now is, how will I know when I've won the game? And when I have, then what?
Sunday, January 02, 2011
The $40 Project
My husband Pete and I are arguing a lot lately, and while he hasn't come right out and said so, I suspect there's something about money that's got him on edge. (It's totally money that has me on edge... guilt about how much I spend without earning any, guilt about how little I pay attention to how much things cost, and guilt about how annoyed I am that I really ought to be up on that stuff.) So without being asked, I have created a game to play, called The $40 Project.
The game is housed inside the possibility of being thrifty, smart, accepting, realistic, and a humble, grateful partner.
So, what is the $40 Week Project?
I will get $40 cash every Sunday and use that for my personal expenses throughout the week. My personal expenses include:
• coffee
• meals out (except dates with Pete and once weekly fast-food for the kids)
• clothes
• shoes
• any girlfriendy expenditures
• manicures
• cosmetics
• parking at the Center
• movies (except when on dates with Pete)
• books, magazines
I will ONLY use cash for these costs. Anything left over at midnight Saturday is gravy! How else would a girl buy herself a new pair of shoes???
I will continue to use my debit card for groceries, gas, household products, gifts, pet care.
I will continue to write checks for dry cleaning and monetary gifts.
I will continue to use PayPal for music lessons.
I will text Pete every time I use the debit card, write a check or use PayPal.
And I'll blog about it, whether I have an insight or not. Here we go.
The game is housed inside the possibility of being thrifty, smart, accepting, realistic, and a humble, grateful partner.
So, what is the $40 Week Project?
I will get $40 cash every Sunday and use that for my personal expenses throughout the week. My personal expenses include:
• coffee
• meals out (except dates with Pete and once weekly fast-food for the kids)
• clothes
• shoes
• any girlfriendy expenditures
• manicures
• cosmetics
• parking at the Center
• movies (except when on dates with Pete)
• books, magazines
I will ONLY use cash for these costs. Anything left over at midnight Saturday is gravy! How else would a girl buy herself a new pair of shoes???
I will continue to use my debit card for groceries, gas, household products, gifts, pet care.
I will continue to write checks for dry cleaning and monetary gifts.
I will continue to use PayPal for music lessons.
I will text Pete every time I use the debit card, write a check or use PayPal.
And I'll blog about it, whether I have an insight or not. Here we go.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Summertime
Makes sense to title this entry thus as I haven't taken to posting here since the Wintertime.
Here's really all I want to say. I've lost 28 pounds. And I feel awesome. I was inspired by my best friend Nina, who caused her own complete transformation, body, mind and spirit. Check out her new blog -- and quite likely the launching of a brand! -- here:
http://happyhealthyhot.typepad.com/home/2010/07/welcome-to-happy-healthy-and-hot.html#comments
Here's really all I want to say. I've lost 28 pounds. And I feel awesome. I was inspired by my best friend Nina, who caused her own complete transformation, body, mind and spirit. Check out her new blog -- and quite likely the launching of a brand! -- here:
http://happyhealthyhot.typepad.com/home/2010/07/welcome-to-happy-healthy-and-hot.html#comments
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